Okay. Now since TPTB didn't start 'putting in' subtext until Altered
States I'm here to point out some of the moments that people 'read into'.
Since I've already done 'Sins' I'm just going to highlight the moments from
the other eps. As always feel free to mention those little moments I miss.
Ahh. . .L'amour!!!!! Xena finds love with some whimpy dude farmer and Gabby
falls for a Bad Boy (Now there's a switch huh? It's usually the other way
around). As far as subtext is concerned there's next to nothing except for
Gabby's worrying over Xena since it took her days to return for her (well,
Xena had a good excuse - an arrow in her side that farmer John helped removed.
I don't know if his name was John so please don't write me and tell me about
it - it's just a standard name to use. Because lets face it, the only name
in Xena's life is Gabrielle. Case Closed. Let's move on children, shall we?)
Xena also tells Gabby upon 'meeting' the bad boy to 'remind me to talk to
you about your taste in men'. Seems Gabby's mister right was just trying
to kill them at the time. As an interesting side note this is one man that
didn't die as a result of kissing Gabby(VBG).
Gabby gets kidnapped for her blood innocence and is put through a series
of 'tests' to see if she will become Morpheus' bride. Only bad thing about
this 'engagement' is Gabby has to be whacked (and by 'whacked' I'm not talking
hip-hop language which means crazy. I mean whacked as in killed, murdered,
dare I say . . . SACRIFICED(LOL). . .Oh okay! So I gotta sick sense of humor
and the season ender this year was a real tear jerker. Anyway. . .) Gabby
gets stolen and Xena flips out, racing frantically through the streets calling
for her Gabby. Nobody steals Xena's bard as the shopkeeper soon finds out
when the warrior pays him a visit (well not a visit really. She shoves him
up against a wall and crushes his windpipe but then again. . .that's Xena!)
She finds out she has to go into the 'dreamscape' to save Gabs so this mystic
guy helps her out. Once there we see Xena dressed in this Geisha girl get
up and Gabby remarks about how good Xena looks (Ah Ha!! We have our first
view of Gabby lust(BG). Anyway to make a long story short as if you didn't
know Xena saves Gabby. I know. It's a big surprise isn't it(G). Another
interesting side note - in this ep we get to see Gabby's brain power more
than brawn and I love the exchange she has with the head priest as to why
she would make a lousy wife.
Xena and Gabby find a baby. Gabs wants to play mom and Xena wants to know
why she can't shut the darn thing up. (What?! Are you holdin' it wrong or
sumpthin'?!) *Side note from Absinthe: So how come she's so good with farmer
boys kiddies in Chariots of War? How come she was so good with that other
baby later on? What is this? Does she have maternal instincts or not???*
Xena and Gabby and their newfound friend Pandora - not the real Pandora of
course, that wouldn't be believable - Oh no, this is her grand daughter who
just happens to be named after her. Far be it for the Xena writers to 'play'
with history or legend to fit their script(VBG). Anyway, they all go to this
tavern to get some food for the baby and themselves too. When they get a
few odd stares in the joint, Xena asked if they got a problem with 'our'
baby. Not 'this' baby. Not 'the' baby but 'our' baby(VBG) (Ahhhh. . .Xena
is so protective and paternal isn't she?)
Well, it all ends happily. The baby gets a home, Pandora finds a man (a king
actually so that's not bad for a first time out) and Xena and Gabby ride
off into the sunset.
By far, the WORST EP IN XENA HISTORY
No big subtext moments - none in fact - but that's not the reasoning behind
my disgust of this ep. It was just a really bad ep in my opinion (Feel free
to argue among yourselves now because I don't wish to debate it(G).

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